To write my Master thesis, I have to and love read a lot about linguistics, terminology, discourse- and gender studies.. in at least three different languages.
I love writing and I love reading. I love reflecting and over-thinking, but when I have to focus on the structure of my thesis and come up with a coherent way of writing (as if I know what story I am going to tell) I tend to be distracted by my train of thought and realize that every story has its own perspective and its own discourse and writers with good reputations that back up every theory and perspective. Who am I to decide where this story leads to? I have time, interest, data and the urge to share what I have learned in two years of being a Master student in Luxembourg. But in what form?
What choices do I have to make, to make this collection of memories and associations in multiple languages look modernistically coherent? My post-modernistic mind leaves the academic structures behind when I return back to my readings and table of contents.
I cannot structure my thoughts if academic literature distracts me with new word choices and I cannot structure my thesis into into a coherent story, if I am lost in perspectives. Because each theoretical framework has its own frame of reference that mirrors meta-linguistic ideologies of folk-linguistic communities and their experts in the field of queer studies.
And I am just a Master student who tends to mix academic writing and the creative writing. What language community will accept, value and enjoy that as mush as I do?
Listening to: Christine & the queens
Reading: Course notes
Eating: dark chocolate
Drinking: black tea